Eight Predominant Challenges for People Living with ADD/ADHD
In my years of working with people living with ADD/ADHD, themes appear; specific areas that people are concerned with; areas that either people are have difficulty navigating or issues where this group may find themselves stuck. I am not saying that these are the only areas by no means nor am I saying all people with ADD/ADHD "suffer" from ALL of these eight challenges but certainly one or more are overwhelming and depleting. When this happens the quality of life is diminished severely. There are other areas such as the health, learning issues, frustration, pessimism and such. However, I’ve found consistently these eight challenges or areas of concern keep rising to the top.
Let’s take a look at these eight, break them down and discover in my opinion the underlying cause that may complicate our ability to prosper and to be successful.
- Procrastination – can’t get started
- Organization – disorganized to the point that the ability to get organized is almost painful.
- Time Management – Always late for meetings, paying bills and generally have no sense of time.
- Money – mishandling of money and/or lack of regard.
- Relationship – Unable to maintain long term relationships.
- Career/Work – difficulty settling on career due to so many interests. Loss of jobs due to misunderstanding of responsibilities or lack of interest.
- Focus/concentration – inability to pay attention and to maintain attention over time.
- Trust – difficulty trusting as well as trusting oneself.
I know that I’ve been challenged in these areas of my life. Perhaps you have as well. It’s my opinion that people living with ADD/ADHD or people who are NOT living with ADD/ADHD have these same issues. There are bioneurological issues that make it more difficult to shift our mood for ADDers especially when we fall under the "spell" of one of these challenges. I’ve spoken and written about how mood can overcome us and what we specifically can do to unravel this phenomenon.
I’ve found that the underlying issue for all is a lack of self-esteem due to THESE VERY challenges over one’s entire life. We each have belief systems that we are wise to question. These beliefs come in the form of stories we are aware of and ones we are not even aware of.
Ergo, the increase in self-esteem for this group of issues becomes for me the purpose and goal for being successful and prosperous.
There are systems and structures one can put in place. We must learn how to shift our negative self-talk that is triggered by the “stories of our lives” which are the basis of our beliefs.
Our stories are our own. In other words, how these eight challenges affect us are unique to each of us. We must learn to develop the skills of discovery and observation as part of a strategy to our success.
With time and rigor you can overcome these eight dominant challenges, how they apply to you and you can succeed.
Working Through – Moving from Dependency to Independence
I am personally bothered by the notion that in order to succeed as a person living with ADD ADHD one must learn to manage their ADD ADHD. I find this approach in conflict with our basic need to be independent and whole. There is a difference between managing one’s ADD ADHD symptoms, signs, and behaviors and working through one’s ADD ADHD symptoms, signs and behaviors. So what is the difference?
Manage ADD ADHD vs. Working through ADD ADHD
The thought of how to manage your ADD ADHD triggers the feeling immediately you’re incapable; that something needs to be fixed or more to the point you need to fixed. What we really want is to improve the quality of our lives.
You know for yourselves that when you are working through some area of your life YOU are taking action. There is a feeling of independence.
Sigmund Freud spoke at length about working through. In short, we as human beings continue to grow. How many times have you said. So how do a try out this working through? I'm taking a different cut here with all respect to Dr. Freud.
Have you ever felt if you could only manage procrastination, disorganization, over-promising/under-delivering, or missing appointments or whatever is holding you back, you'll be OK. So here you are focused on what's not working. I believe we all want to figure a way to work through whatever or wherever we are stopped. You do so when we learn and practice a new skill and work it out!
You can give a man a fish or you can teach him how to fish is a great adage. The adage doesn't say – - – You can give a man fish or you can teach him how to manage to fish.
Manage and work through are profoundly distinct from one another:
- To manage means someone else directs or is in a supervisory position to the other. What could be implied is to be successful you'll never be able to do more than manage. Now some may sees this as harsh. I think we all want to learn rather than manage and gain confidence and build self-esteem. We are whole; there is nothing missing and we are on to the next learning.
- To work through assumes success from the start. With practice over time, one can learn and move to the other side of their symptoms, upsets, issues and move what they perceive is holding them back.
The former creates dependency while the later promotes independence.
We become independent when we are willing, accepting and open to cross the road to see what’s on the other side. This entails ADDing Perspective; seeing the situation a little differently. To do so when we can question our results and behavior without any judgment as if you were watching a movie. "Oh, look at that. I missed that one. We'll let's get back to it. I think of every person who has ever invented anything. Do you think Einstein managed his ideas? I doubt it. He kept moving forward learning and growing till where he was stuck became an entirely new way of looking at the world. You can too!
So where are you stuck? What do you want to master? What are you willing to spend the time, energy and desire, no matter what, to work through? I promise you, you can! There is not enough time in this newsletter to show you the step-by-step of working through.
I believe we all have the ability to learn and grow anything we desire. If I can learn how to do this anyone can. By the way, you can also learn to get better at what you love. You do so by learning possibilities and a new set of skills. You can count on me to assist you to work it through!
Distraction or Creativity Bursting at the Seams?
Maybe, just maybe, what you’ve been calling distraction is really creativity bursting at the seams. Now don’t get me wrong. There are many, many times when I’ve started something and found myself drifting into something completely different that seemed very interesting to me. One of my coaches, Suzanne Evans, calls it the "Bright Shiny Object Syndrome." I know that one!
At the same time, there are specific moments when you will be distracted and the moments are pure creativity. For now, we are in the world of education so see if what I’m suggesting fits for you.
See if you can relate?
There are so many advantages of following what is interesting to you. Right? Following those bright shiny objects are what had me moving into several careers based on what was so fascinating about them. For example, working in my father’s restaurant taught me how to cook; spending time with two of my ex-partners and friends who were trained in architecture taught me structural design; Advertising and making television commercials for Columbia Pictures allowed me to start my own company called McCall/Coppola @ Filmfair along with a full career in music. But most importantly, it has grown my insatiable desire to learn.
Was I distracted or so freakin’ interested?
I work with many talented business owners as well as people living with ADD/ADHD. And did you know that so many businesses spring from the question, "What if . . .?" "What if I left my corporate job as a graphic designer and started my own company?"
Distraction and the inability to pay attention are real. What is it that triggers these distractions that makes it so difficult to focus?
From my personal experience and studies with David Giwerc, here are a few:
- Boredom
- Understimulation
- Overstimulation
- Physical Breakdowns such as lack of sleep, hunger, thirst, etc.
- Disinterest
- And anything related to fear. (Anxiety, worry, chaos, disorganization, time management. Fill in the blanks for you.)
OK. Has this ever happened to you? Let’s say you’re in conversation with someone. They start talking about something you realize you have no idea what they are saying and nor do you care. The next thing you know, you’re thinking about something completely different. Maybe something that the person is speaking triggered to find a solution to the problem their having or you see another angle or perspective that the person can’t see at all. You’re ADDing Perspective. I call this "creativity bursting at the seams", not distraction. You think to yourself, "why would anyone want to pay attention to something so boring?" Your mind starts looking for something interesting to concentrate on. Guess what? This called creativity. Inventing something out of nothing. Doesn’t it make complete sense? I’ve given you an explanation to the situation. Still and above all, you must be responsible and not use this as an excuse. There is a way to help you pay attention and understand during these times as well as help the others stay on track.
Here’s an exercise for you to help you pay attention during certain times.
Consider carrying a blank index card. When you sit to have a conversation with a friend or a client, take out the index card. Here’s what you will say to them:
1. "I hope you don’t mind, I want to really listen to you and sometimes you might say something that gives me an idea. I may write down a word so I can come back to it to discuss the idea with you."
2. If you get lost in the conversation just say to them, "I’m sorry. Would you mind repeating that?" Another good one is "Could you give me the context of what you’re saying. I really want to make sure I understand what you’re saying."
You never want to blame them. This is all about you. By the way, it also keeps them focused.
I invite you to try out this technique the next time you have a talk with someone and see yourself if you start drifting away. After you notice. Bring yourself back and refocus. Keep practicing. In time, changes can occur.
If you have any questions or to let me know how you made out, please send your replies to frank@addcoachinggroup.com. You would be helping me as well as other people out there.
Discover Your ADD-ADHD Competitive Advantages
So many of my new clients say they are completely puzzled about how ADD/ADHD can be an advantage. After struggling with issues such as lack of focus, distraction, procrastination, time management, and many others, it feels like science fiction to them. But it can be true for every person living with ADD/ADHD, and I’m going to show you how based upon the principles I’ve developed in Say Yes to ADD/ADHD! – 10 Ways to Benefit with ADD/ADHD. The first principle, Acceptance, is a good place to begin.
Accept that you were born with ADD/ADHD just as you were born with a different blood type than many other people. ADD/ADHD is an essential part of who you are: parts that can ADD/ADHD to the quality of your life. Perhaps your biggest obstacle until now has been not realizing you even had ADD/ADHD. Realizing it NOW can be your greatest opportunity. This is not a character flaw, nor are you broken or missing some integral piece that, once found, could miraculously "fix" you. Many times, emotional, social or cultural issues can be confused with the symptoms of ADD/ADHD. Accept that your specific way of seeing the world is different from the viewpoint of others. You are unique. That’s the good news!
Living in the Age of Distraction
For those of you who thrive on an abundance of information, your ADD/ADHD can benefit you as well as those around you. We live in the multimedia "Age of Distraction." Information comes at us in incredible amounts and at incredible speed. Our ADD/ADHD brains strive not to be bored; we are always looking for what is interesting and stimulating. This is a perfect example of how you can use ADD/ADHD to your competitive advantage: instead of being distracted, you have an asset for processing information seamlessly!
Discover Your ADD/ADHD Competitive Advantages
- Make a list of situations that are easy or natural for you– so easy that they don’t seem very important. For me, I love problem solving. I problem solve in business, family, music writing, working with clients. I’ve been doing this all my life. It’s what I naturally gravitate towards. You’ll find your talent lies in what comes easiest.
- Record the details of the situation and how what comes easily impacts your activities and the quality of your life and the lives of those around you.
- Patterns of positive, inspiring moments that make you feel good about yourself and your accomplishments will start to come to the surface. You can learn to use and reshape these moments to your ADD/ADHD competitive advantage. That’s a promise from me to you.
Your ADD/ADHD issues may have haunted you all your days, but perhaps these issues are telling you something about how you think, move, and react to the world around you. Once you understand YOUR ADD/ADHD, you will come to realize its enormous advantages.
Consider your ADD/ADHD is showing you something that has confused you until now. Decide to become an expert of your ADD/ADHD experience. Learn to observe the world with a new set of glasses: ones with new lenses adjusted to your ADD/ADHD perspective.
When we are able to accept that we have ADD/ADHD, we put ourselves in a position to change and grow.
http://ezinearticles.com/?Discover-Your-ADD-ADHD-Competitive-Advantages&id=595723
5 Easy Steps That Can Increase Your Focus and Attention
Do you even wonder why you can’t pay attention?
Many of my clients with or without ADD/ADHD are troubled with this. They keep asking, "So how do I pay attention?"
I think a better question is WHY can’t I pay attention?
ADD is situational. Looking back, daydreaming was probably a lot more interesting than driving but I wasn’t even aware. That particular situation had me bored.
You didn’t set out to NOT pay attention.
Most likely not paying attention was due to the situation.
Symptoms such as overwhelm, disorganization, unable to concentrate or hyperfocus most likely can appear when your anxious, bored, overstimulated, understimulated, disinterested, stressed out and/or afraid. These symptoms don’t happen all the time. They are linked to specific situations. Isolate the situations and this becomes part of the process to pay attention better.
Here are five easy steps that can help you increase your attention:
1. ADD is situational. Keep track of YOUR specific situations. By learning what situations cause you to wander, you’ll be better able to pay attention and to anticipate when you might wander. By paying attention to the situation you might find yourself more engaged. Try it!
2. Take note of when you’re distracted and can’t pay attention. This is the first step in practicing how to pay attention. This usually occurs after you catch yourself and realize: "I’m not paying attention!" or if you are with someone they might say, "Are you paying attention?"
3. Observation: Remember back to the time or situation. What had you loose focus? Was it something that someone said? What did you notice that had you think of something else? Were you bored or did you have another idea that stimulated you? It makes sense if you’re bored your brain might be looking for something more interesting. Right?
4. "The Drift": How long? Once you pinpoint the situation, how much time did it take before you became aware. Five minutes? Thirty seconds? I call this "the drift." Over time you can shorten the drift time as you keep making note.
5. Creativity Seeking Its Own Level ADD people are incredibly creative and inventive. What if there was another reason you weren’t paying attention?
What if it were creativity? You are bursting with ideas. I like to think that our inability to pay attention can be related to the amount of ideas we generate. Could not paying attention be creativity seeking its own level?
You can learn to pay attention. It takes awareness and practice. I’m a firm believer: the more you know, the more you grow. You better today knowing you have ADD.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?5-Easy-Steps-That-Can-Increase-Your-Focus-and-Attention&id=1012604
