I am personally bothered by the notion that in order to succeed as a person living with ADD ADHD one must learn to manage their ADD ADHD. I find this approach in conflict with our basic need to be independent and whole. There is a difference between managing one’s ADD ADHD symptoms, signs, and behaviors and working through one’s ADD ADHD symptoms, signs and behaviors. So what is the difference?
Manage ADD ADHD vs. Working through ADD ADHD
The thought of how to manage your ADD ADHD triggers the feeling immediately you’re incapable; that something needs to be fixed or more to the point you need to fixed. What we really want is to improve the quality of our lives.
You know for yourselves that when you are working through some area of your life YOU are taking action. There is a feeling of independence.
Sigmund Freud spoke at length about working through. In short, we as human beings continue to grow. How many times have you said. So how do a try out this working through? I'm taking a different cut here with all respect to Dr. Freud.
Have you ever felt if you could only manage procrastination, disorganization, over-promising/under-delivering, or missing appointments or whatever is holding you back, you'll be OK. So here you are focused on what's not working. I believe we all want to figure a way to work through whatever or wherever we are stopped. You do so when we learn and practice a new skill and work it out!
You can give a man a fish or you can teach him how to fish is a great adage. The adage doesn't say – – – You can give a man fish or you can teach him how to manage to fish.
Manage and work through are profoundly distinct from one another:
- To manage means someone else directs or is in a supervisory position to the other. What could be implied is to be successful you'll never be able to do more than manage. Now some may sees this as harsh. I think we all want to learn rather than manage and gain confidence and build self-esteem. We are whole; there is nothing missing and we are on to the next learning.
- To work through assumes success from the start. With practice over time, one can learn and move to the other side of their symptoms, upsets, issues and move what they perceive is holding them back.
The former creates dependency while the later promotes independence.
We become independent when we are willing, accepting and open to cross the road to see what’s on the other side. This entails ADDing Perspective; seeing the situation a little differently. To do so when we can question our results and behavior without any judgment as if you were watching a movie. "Oh, look at that. I missed that one. We'll let's get back to it. I think of every person who has ever invented anything. Do you think Einstein managed his ideas? I doubt it. He kept moving forward learning and growing till where he was stuck became an entirely new way of looking at the world. You can too!
So where are you stuck? What do you want to master? What are you willing to spend the time, energy and desire, no matter what, to work through? I promise you, you can! There is not enough time in this newsletter to show you the step-by-step of working through.
I believe we all have the ability to learn and grow anything we desire. If I can learn how to do this anyone can. By the way, you can also learn to get better at what you love. You do so by learning possibilities and a new set of skills. You can count on me to assist you to work it through!